You have noticed the signals and your mind is joining the puzzle pieces. Your partner arrives home late or runs late on the pretext of work shifts. When your partner arrives home, after a silent dinner he takes refuge on the internet and avoids your questions with strange justifications … if you are worried that your love is cheating on you, and you want to find out, here are some approaches that could help you confirm your suspicions.Click on matching couple outfits to see more themed t-shirt for both.
Note: some of the suggestions to “spy on” your partner may be illegal in your country. Check the laws in force before following them.
Part1: Discover your partner by telephone
- 1Let your fingers work for you. The telephone is something that unites all our lives and over time is increasingly important. Therefore you will be reasonably sure that their betrayal will also be consumed over the phone as well as in more traditional ways.
- 2If you have a landline, eavesdropping will be easy.
- Find another device and connect it to a place in the house where your partner seldom goes. Remove the microphone so that your potential insults are not revealed to you.
- When you hear him shout “Leave, I answer”, go to your spy room and answer too. If you have a classic handset, be careful not to raise it too fast or press the button to drop the line, otherwise you will be discovered.
- 3Try to record your conversations. If you are sure that your future ex-partner will not call his darling when you are around, but may not resist the temptation of a stealth call when you cannot hear, recording the conversation is probably the best choice. If you plan ahead, you will be able to listen to your partner’s private conversations.
- If you have a smartphone or a phone that can work as a recorder, move the headset closer to the microphone, record the offending conversation. If you catch them in the act, and you get enough evidence, you won’t need to wait. Compare your partner with his toothbrush and a suitcase and throw him out of the house. If, on the other hand, the phone call was from his friend who called to confirm the Thursday soccer, pretend nothing happened and come back to him with a smile.
- 4Use a baby monitor. This is a simple and accessible way for everyone to eavesdrop. Of course it’s not an ideal choice if there are no children in your life right now, but you could still manage to get away with it. Wait for a day when your partner goes shopping and goes to an appliance store. Buy a baby monitor, a can of spray paint of the color you want to use to camouflage it and a ribbon of the same color to cover any bright LEDs.
- Color the transmitter (the part reserved for the child / secret) with spray paint. Cover the microphone before coloring it so as not to damage it and do not overdo the color. Don’t risk the smell of paint betraying you.
- Hide the transmitter in a discreet place in the room where you think the licentious conversation will take place. Choose a location where your partner will hardly look. Behind books, under a sofa or if you can’t find better, somewhere in the bedroom or in the bathroom.
- Turn on the transmitter and place a small radio in the room to the volume of whispers and giggles. Go to your listening station and turn on the receiver. Can you hear the radio? If you can do it, the trap is prepared. If you can’t, change the position of the transmitter until you can hear the mark clearly.
- When the phone call arrives and your partner says “I have to answer, it’s for work” answer “Okay, I’m going to [room where you put the receiver]”. Reach the room, turn on the receiver, start the recorder (phone, tape or any other means) and listen to what happens next. If you feel your suspicions confirmed, call a taxi for your partner and buy a one-way ticket for that country to the traitor. Of course, if you hear “Okay boss, I’ll get you that report tomorrow, and wait … what’s this, a transmitter ?”, Call a taxi for you and leave the ship, because you’ll find yourself in rough waters.
- 5Make digital recordings with a digital device. As suggested by the guide Discover If He Betrays You And With Chi by Elizabeth Wilson, there is a wide selection of digital recorders, such as pens, USB keys or fake phones that are activated with the voice and that you can use. This means that you can place one in the place your partner could call and when it does, the electronic device will activate, like a mousetrap. Check the trap as soon as possible and good luck!
- 6It violates your partner’s privacy and spies on your communications. Direct access to the traitor’s companion phone can reveal a lot – especially his text messages and private messages on social networks. His close friends will be sincere in advice and will say what they think. You may find the messages you received more useful. Regular checks will give you an idea of how the situation is evolving. Pay attention to the use of pseudonyms to hide compromising messages in disguise.
- Check his e-mails. Another way to communicate with your lover is to send emails or chat on the net. Think how useful it would be if all your e-mails and online conversations were sent to you by e-mail. There are programs called remote espionage programs, which will record all spied computer activities, such as e-mails, private and chat messages, website history, pressed buttons and send a copy to your e-mail inbox.
- If your partner is not very careful, you could also check his computer or his phone when he is not present and see his history, the applications used and look for other signs of a possible betrayal. You may be able to read compromising emails or spicy chat messages.
- If your partner is cheating on you, he will probably try to stop you from reading his e-mails by protecting them with a password. To try to gain access, try to enter your usual passwords. If you can’t log in, do a Google search to find programs that can violate password-protected items.
Part2: Use other methods to monitor your partner
- 1Use all the tools at your disposal. You can get help from inanimate objects – they never talk! For example, there are hidden cameras available in unthinkable forms! They are so effective that not even you would be able to understand that inside they hide an excellent camera. The shapes of hidden cameras vary from watches aside to table lamps.
- 2Install a GPS device. Check your partner’s movements by placing a GPS device on his car. It will show you where it went and how much it stopped. The next time he tells you “work late, sweetheart”, you can answer “I didn’t know you worked in a motel!”
- 3Check the odometer. An economical alternative to GPS is a simple check of the kilometers traveled when you are away. Write down the odometer number before it goes to work, and compare it with the one on your return. Is this distance consistent with the distance required to reach the workplace? A suspicious discrepancy may mean that your suspicions are founded.
- 4Pay particular attention to his friendships. Who is seeing more often? Who do you hear most often? Are they also your friends? When you meet them, try to feel if you feel hostility on their part. Don’t ask direct questions. Don’t put them in the position of having to choose which side to take. What people do not say is as useful as what they say.
- 5Check recent calls. If the list of recent calls is canceled or blocked, you can access this information online from your phone account. You will need the password to log in to the account. Probably the password used was chosen before the betrayal started, so you could know it or guess it. Check the frequency of use and the duration of calls. Are these factors stable or have they grown? Having this information will give you clues to the evolution of the situation.
- 6Look for changes in your behavior. Changes in stylistic or appearance tastes, losses or increases in weight, coldness, detachment or hostility; I refuse to talk about projects for the future, search for less responsibility, little sexual interest and the amount of attention that is given to you during the day. Do you monitor these changes and assess whether the situation is improving or getting worse? Changes are often indications of a condition of instability.
- 7Find out if your partner has any secrets. Take care to check that your partner does not have a second secret phone that he uses to avoid being discovered. Also, check his trash on the computer – people often delete things and forget to empty the trash.
Part3 : Hold him a Trap
- 1Catch it red-handed! If you really think your partner is cheating on you and even after checking his phone calls, emails and moves, all the evidence you have is reduced to your instincts, then you’ll have to decide how much you’re willing to do to make sure it’s faithful.
- Ask yourself honestly why you don’t trust your partner. Is there a reason, real or imagined, to believe that your partner is or has been unfaithful? It doesn’t have to be a trial worthy of a court, but do you have something to base your hypotheses on besides instinct and the sixth sense? It is common to convince ourselves that our partner betrays us, starting only from situations turned into tests by our feelings, beliefs and insecurities.
- Just because you seem less interested in yourself doesn’t mean you’re cheating on yourself. Working late or hanging out with friends may not be excuses. It often happens that couples who are together for a long time forget why they fell in love with each other, because life can be monotonous and people relax over time, taking their partner for granted. Furthermore, it is possible that your partner is a slave to work, has “married” with his career and rarely thinks of spending time with you.
- 2Make assumptions. If you think you have a real reason to suspect your partner, then start with the hypothesis that you will take precautions to prevent your betrayal from being discovered.
- He will not use his home phone or his computer to communicate with his lover.
- He will not tell you to work late and will run away instead to a meeting in a hotel, risking that your calls will not be answered or to be seen leaving the workplace early.
- He will use the normal regimes and habits that you have come to know and will use that time to betray you. A sexual betrayal does not require much time or investment of emotions. They could meet in a parking lot, get in the car, drive to a motel and lock up in their rooms for half an hour and be back for shopping. He could even get home with purchases consistent with the shops he was supposed to visit. If you want to discover the truth, follow these steps:
- 3Prepare the trap. Get a good zoom camera, and place a GPS device on your partner (in his clothes, in his bag, etc.) or in his car. Hide a voice-activated recorder behind your bed. Then, plan a trip out of town for two to four days – and tell your partner.
- Make your trip more credible by telling details about your program and the places you visit while you are actually staying in a hotel outside the city – if your partner expects to see more proof of your trip, book it really, maybe with him for then cancel the trip at the last minute and stay close to home.
- 4Set off. Remember to call your partner from the airport and when you arrive at your destination. If you call from your mobile, you can pretend to be everywhere. Sorry because you’ll be working late and you don’t know if you’ll be able to call again in the evening.
- 5Check your movements thanks to the GPS and if you leave the house for a long time and reach an unusual place, go there and watch from afar.
- Follow your partner (think about renting a car for the occasion), but don’t do it if you have a tendency to lose your temper in the street or if you are very impulsive.
- If your partner returns home, park nearby and watch.
- 6Repeat as many times as necessary. Use the camera zoom if necessary. Check the recorder to make sure you haven’t lost anything.
- If you need more time, call the morning of the day when you should have come back and apologize because you will be late for a day.
- 7Manage what you discover. If you discover something, you can face your partner with tests. If you discover nothing, don’t stretch your “journey” too much. In any case, don’t let this situation continue – confront your partner with evidence or abandon your suspicions to restore stability to the relationship or cut it off if it were the case.
- 1Face the consequences of having discovered the truth, whatever it is. It is not pleasant to discover that your partner is betraying you. It will probably be terrible, because it will shake the foundations on which you based your life. Also, you may feel guilty about the sneaky way you learned the truth. The discovery process is heartbreaking and will upset you.
- 2Face your emotions. If you get certain and concrete evidence that your partner is cheating on you, you will have a real reason to be unhappy. The fact is that it is better to know the truth. Over time, you will understand that even though it was a traumatic experience, it gave you the opportunity to understand that this person did not deserve you and that you still have to find your soul mate. Look for the comfort of friends, family and maybe a doctor or analyst to help you get through this difficult time. Deciding whether to leave your partner is a very difficult choice that only you can take, but you can seek the support of a good network of helpers.
- 3Keep in mind that you may be completely wrong. If you have not found evidence of your partner’s infidelity, you now have very little reason to believe you are betraying yourself. Or, if you still believe that your partner is very cautious and stealthy, at least you have discovered how easy it is to set a trap for catching him in the future. Make sure, however, that your continued suspicions are founded; at this point, you have probably betrayed his trust completely.
- Never underestimate your instincts – at least do some checks to ease your worries.
- Use your senses. Get closer to your partner when he returns from what you think was an appointment. Use the sense of smell. A different perfume could mean that he has started using deodorants or aftershave or that he is wearing someone’s perfume.
- Any sudden change in appearance (weight loss, new clothes, etc.) could be a clue. Be careful though – all people go through difficult times to which they try to remedy with a renewed personal care; it is not an overwhelming test.
- Be careful if your partner buys a second mobile phone. Pay even more attention if you find it by chance and it was kept hidden or if it was purchased without explanation. Other suspicious signals include the sudden use of pins and passwords to protect information that was previously shared, or keep the cell phone silent most of the time.
- If you notice a sudden increase in text messages sent or received, it could be a clue.
- Be careful if your partner travels a lot. It is one of the most common clues.
- Check your partner’s car for many days in a row. Search for unusual objects. You can find clues like a restaurant bill or the corner of a condom pack.
- Make jokes about betrayal to assess your partner’s reactions.
- Pay attention to your partner’s body language to find out any lies. If in response to a direct question about where he was, you will notice that he will touch his face, could hide something.
- If you realize you have forced your partner on the defensive and are becoming nervous, do not let go. Unpleasant conversation continues. Your partner could confess – or hit you with a power strip if you’re wrong at all.
- Get a test to check for sperm in your underwear. Keep in mind though that this is a very serious violation of your partner’s privacy.
- Please note that the ways in which you will use your espionage tools may violate the privacy of others and the law. Check the laws in your area to see if what you plan to do is legal or liable to complaint. In most cases, the actions and use of the following objects is considered illegal:
- It may be illegal to spy on a person without consent.
- It may be illegal to access another person’s computer without authorization.
- The use of password breaching programs is probably illegal.
- You may not be happy with what you find out. You may not want to know the things you think you need to know.
- If your suspicions end up turning out to be paranoid jealousy not based on facts – and your partner discovered your incognito activities – you would have caused very serious and often irreparable damage to your relationship. Even if you were not found out, consider whether to consult a psychologist.